World Breastfeeding Week

The theme of World Breastfeeding Week 2020 is “Support breastfeeding for a healthier planet”. In line with this theme, WHO and UNICEF are calling on governments to protect and promote women’s access to skilled breastfeeding counselling, a critical component of breastfeeding support.

Reference here

I didn’t even want to breastfeed, I couldn’t stand the thought of myself doing it. I admired those that did but I didn’t feel comfortable with it. The anxiety of “breast is best” was always there in the back of my mind and as the birth was approaching my mindset started changing a little bit.

I was asking questions to myself about just trying it, even if it was just for the colostrum (the first milk that comes which helps in the development of immunity in the newborn, it is full of goodness and nutrition). It still made me feel anxious.

Fast forward to our positive birth which was amazing, it just seemed so natural to at least try. I wanted to offer my baby all I could and the emotions of being a new Mother flooded me and there was no more questions. When they asked if I was going to breastfeed the answer was, “I will try”.

The midwife who supported me at Burnley Birth Centre was a absolutely amazing. This is the key to successful breastfeeding – knowledge and support. A lot of Mothers do not get this support and if you are new to this it can be very overwhelming, it is definitely not how it is portrayed in the media, well it was not for me anyway.

A lot of the physical issues is with the latch and the pain felt. I wanted to stop, it hurt, but I was shown how to support her properly, which was not the typical cradle hold I had seen in media. The new positioning really helped me. For me to get through my mental and emotional anxiety was a challenge but I did with all the help I received.

I decided I would do a few hours, which turned into a few days, which turned into a few months, which turned into until she is 1, which turned into until she is 2 which went out the window with lockdown and so we still continue.

There is stigma. It may not be meant but you hear odd comments, “isn’t it time she was off now”, well shes only just 2 but looks older because of her height – but still stigma at 2?  This is because society is not used to it, and I have to admit, carrying on in lockdown is easy because I am not in the public eye. But I am getting nervous when we go into the world again. Sometimes it’s easier to feed than try and distract her. But I just feel because of her height it will make it even more difficult and I find that causes me anxiety. But it shouldn’t that is the point.

This is because it is not out there, we are not seeing it as normal. There will be some Mothers who reach a point were they may hide it because, like me, they feel they shouldn’t be seen to be feeding a toddler and yet it is the most natural thing in the world to want to give your child the best form of nourishment and for me personally, that is breastfeeding. For others it may be a different form of nourishment and that is their choice and it is personal and individual circumstance whatever way we choose to love and nourish our children. I can agree that the need is less as she is older but you try arguing with a strong determined Aries toddler who is stubborn!

I am still breast feeding and I am experiencing these emotions and feelings and I am a strong determined person to.

I have been really lucky so far, I have only been made to feel anxious a few times and of course, I have allowed that to happen because I could have ignored it, most of the time I have been to busy being discreet and private, that I haven’t caught the disapproving eye.

However in December 2019 while on a visit to a garden centre, we were sat at the table and there was a family next to us, a good table away, but noticeable. My daughter did what she does best and being quite stubborn I knew distraction was not on the cards.

I’ve always tried to be discreet, I am what I call an introvert breastfeeding Mother. I don’t like my body to be seen, after all they are my boobs and I want my dignity, but most importantly I want to protect my daughter’s space.

So I pulled my jumper over her and just carried on as normal multitasking when I turned to the table with a Mother and Daughter sat opposite from where I was sat. The daughter was looking at me and had said something while her Mother was trying to hide it telling her to shut up or something. I could see the Mother was embarrassed at the daughters observation and comments, as to was the daughter, from me breastfeeding.

I was actually taken by surprise. I would say the young person was 11 or 12. I felt embarrassed. I turned my body uncomfortably around and I felt agitated. Clearly a head under my jumper was not doing me any justice in being as private as I could.

When my daughter is unwell, teething, restless, upset, I have found breast feeding to be like medicine. It soothes her, takes her pains away, calms her down, helps her to sleep when she is fighting being awake. I find the human body fascinating and for me to still be going, I congratulate myself.

But after a certain point, it became really easy. Even through new teeth and a few unpleasant bites, we made it through. At times it is exhausting, demanding, annoying even, but most of the time it’s just so easy for me. No washing of bottles, preparing of formula, running out, it’s free to and it has helped her through all of her difficult times so far. Comforting her when she is unwell with a fever and being able to hydrate her and keep her safe is amazing.

I just did not plan to still be doing it. Lockdown made it harder because she wanted me more. I gave up the fight after an hour and like everything else with my parenting, I am letting nature take its course. There will come a point when she is confident and secure to move away from her comfort however the nutrition and what she needs and how the body does that is incredible. I have done some research and it does change for them with their growth and it continues to nourish and protect there immunity. So for me as long as I am comfortable, which I am in my own home, there are no issues.

Will I feed in public when I come out of my lockdown? Probably not. I do not feel comfortable. I don’t want to offend people or be looked upon with the look. I can actually relate to those people however not their looks or negative words. I to used to feel embarrassed even as an adult and I was once that child who saw a breastfed older child and didn’t understand it. If we do not normalise and support our new Mothers and continue that support as they grow  this is not going to happen. Our future generations need to be apart of it which I am seeing more and more. There are support groups around and more and more Mothers are breast feeding in public spaces and so they should.

My view is to support it in the media and I think it’s great all of these Mums getting on board and sharing images of their experiences,  and this is ultimately what will normalise it, but I also think we have to protect the personal space of our children and ourselves. I can understand that some people support breastfeeding but don’t want it in their faces, I was one of those people back then. Now I’m a Mother, I forget it can make people uncomfortable even when I’m being discreet. It is important there is a balance because it is normal and it may take time for some to jump on board and there may be some that never do and we have to respect we all share pubic spaces.

I want to breastfeed comfortably, I want to respect myself, my child and the public spaces I am in that other people share. I want to support Breastfeeding and help normalise it so all Mothers feel they can ask for support, be offered and most importantly receive the support they need.

But I’m here now admitting I am nervous about public feeding my 2 and a bit daughter because she is tall and looks older. So if I am like that, and I class myself as a confident strong person, how many are not even feel supported to try.

When breastfeeding week came upon us in the last two years, I couldn’t even get involved with acknowledging it. Possibly because of the OCD, but I remember it was all over social media most days and I was finding the negativity of it to much. I was scared of responses, ones I will probably never even hear. People have views and opinions we can not control but just be kind and know all we are doing is feeding our children and at whatever age that continues to, may not be normal to you, but when it is your own child it most certainly is if that is what you choose to do.

I come from a place of being a Mum, still breastfeeding, but understanding why some may find it difficult. We have to respect each others views but be kind. It is a biological process, it is natures way and it is normal. We can help portray imagery positively to support normalising it. We need more midwifes to be more supportive, health visitors and even GP’s you are not doing enough. I still here stories from new Mums and I have some of my own that are not supportive. It is obvious the support for breastfeeding is still lacking, thank fully I got support from the right people but I could of left that day from hospital not even having the option.

I do feel for all new Mums in lockdown. It must be so difficult not having the group support and one to ones. I got so much support after my first initial experience at Burnley Birth Centre, and from a Doula at Snowdrop Doula support and off other breastfeeding Mums. There’s so much I didn’t know at the start and that help was so important.

So as the end of breastfeeding week is officially ending today I have finally said a few words and shared a picture to show my support and to help normalise it. It may be it has ended already but it never really ends does it.