Pregnancy Diaries #5 – Removal of miscarriage by MVA

The video and blog can be slightly different in content. This post contains content of a sensitive nature. 

This video covers pre and post procedure. The blog below covers my experiences of the actual procedure

It’s 18.41 and after a long day at Burnley EPU I have got through the MVA procedure to remove the pregnancy that had ended. See previous posts #1-4 for background.

Today I was 10 weeks 2 days pregnant, day 65 gestation from my first day of my last menstrual period.

I arrived at 9.30am and by 10.30am I’d seen and spoken to the consultant who would be carrying out the procedure, had blood pressure checks etc. Signed all relevant paper work and been given the pessary  to soften the cervix and pain relief.

We were in the quiet room again and were offered a brew and had to wait for the pessary to take effect.

What was really nice about today, was the consultants care towards my partner. It’s not often they are considered, their role being to support primarily, but it is their loss to. Everyone is different in how they feel and act around loss, but I was really appreciative of her consideration to him. She also warned him that being there may not be a pleasant experience for him, just to check if he was able to be in the room. At that point I must admit the worry scale increased as previously it seemed that him being there was for a hand to hold and to support.

We waited for some time before going into the room and I was getting a bit anxious with the wait. I thought by 11.30am I’d be in but it turned out to be around 12.30-12.45pm by the time we were taken into the room.

I had to fill a personal belongings form, which I’m still unclear why, as we walked in with all our belongings (they listed every item of clothing shoes etc.) without having to leave anything anywhere. On reflection this was probably due to if anything went wrong.

I was really surprised when I walked into the room to see the table set up, I was looking for something that may off looked like a Dyson hoover, plugged in and huge.

The apparatus was quite minimal and there was definately no loud machine hoovering me out. I completely got that wrong.

The chair and stirrups were not as bad as some I’ve sat in, I was of course treated with dignity and I have to say I did not feel exposed as I anticipated.

There was another nurse present who was lovely, Carolyn, who reassured me and comforted me even checking on us later in the day. Throughout it all they talked to me about when and what they were going to do. I was well informed.

The first part was like a smear. Gel is applied to the cervix to numb it and I think 2 injections possibly 4 insertions into the area on top of that. I was offered gas and air which I took gladly and it helped a lot. It was bearable and no where near as painful as injections at the dentist so that’s good.

The consultant said I was doing really well and I replied that she was to and she said “Thank you” with her genuine caring manner.

The next part was to clamp the cervix to check I couldn’t feel anything which I couldn’t. Then to open the cervix and insert the tool that would scrape and pull the tissue out. That was uncomfortable but honestly bearable with the gas and air and local anestetic.

The sound was only made when it was drawing the tissue out. The closest thing I can relate to this is having my ears shringed. You can hear the suction but I did not feel any pain and the sound was not disturbing to me. I felt pressure and movement but the local anaesthetic worked well. The actual procedure from the start (inserting the gel to numb) till the last entry into the uterus I would say was between 5-10minutes. But the whole day was around 7 hours.

There was a moment towards the middle/ end I did break down which was good after feeling quite numb lately, it feels so cleansing to release emotions I just struggle with that for some reason, perhaps because loss haunts me.

Towards the end of the procedure as I was warned, cramping was present, and straight after for about 10 mins the cramping was more intense but gas and air was on hand to manage it and I was also offered an injection for pain relief which I gladly accepted.

I did ask to see the tissue remains. I’m not sure what they thought but there didn’t seem to be any judgement when I held the bowl, closed my eyes did some Reiki symbols, thanked the soul for the journey and separated us with love using the infinity sign cut in half, a bit like separating the cord in birth and then I air kissed over the top of it and handed it back. I was surprised how it looked and how much there was for 9 weeks. It will be sent off for genetic testing and then creamated.

We were offered hot drinks and a sandwich each which was needed because I thought I’d be at MacDonalds for lunch.

My bloods were taken as I am Rhesus Negative so I could have the Anti-D injection which seemed to delay being discharged but I was happy to sit and wait as they monitor you to.

Melissa another friendly face dealt with discharging me. They handle you really well. Every loss is significant and you feel treated with respect and understanding. I have always felt at Burnley EPU that the team are just extra special and compassionate beings. They are good at their jobs.

We were given a keep sake to remember the pregnancy and were talked through what happens next. I was given the Anti-D and when we were ready we could leave.

Today I made a descion. If the procedure was unbearable I will give up trying to have another child. Chemical pregnancy is easier for me to deal with its fairly quick and minimal pain just a normal period. But this is the 3rd pregnancy that has progressed and then ended. I had the D&C first time, 2nd was natural at home (crap) and today the MVA.

I will continue to try, knowing this option is available and manageable. It’s actually not anything like I thought.

It’s over with now. No pain at home enduring a natural miscarriage. The cramps are present but manageable and they do say a bleed upto 3 weeks but to be honest so far so good.

I would personally recommend this as an option. Being awake through it scared me. But lately being put to sleep scares me more.

In 2-3 weeks time I should get a negative pregnancy test. This has always felt strange, hoping it says negative because then you can start again. Hormones balance up, no more pregnancy symptoms, HCG decreases, the body clock resets and waits in anticipation for the first menstrual cycle to begin the journey. Maybe I will wait, maybe I won’t, but they do say you are fertile after miscarriage. It took me some time (7 months) after my first loss with current partner in 2016 to conceive but we lost that to. Very traumatic.

I feel as though I have honored this pregnancy, I won’t forget it, but it wasn’t meant to be so I accept it.  When I look at my daughter the love is immense and so sometimes you have to wait for the right time and the right soul to join you on their life journey. If I am blessed with just her, she is enough, but she does ask for a sister mainly so she gives me hope.

My advice for anyone going for this. Take a hot water bottle. Fill it up just before you set off (my journey was around 25mins) it helped soothe and relax me prior to the procedure. Then straight after I took it out if its cover and it was the perfect temperature to place direct on my tummy. I refilled it from the hot water tap. They used to offer hot compress in the past until someone in another hospital got burnt and that was that. It’s such a shame because it is a natural effective way of pain relief management and very comforting when you have just experienced the procedure.

I would have also taken a blanket on reflection as my temperature did decrease as the day went on and sat on the chair waiting would have felt more comforting.

It’s been nice to share my experience. Although I did put a post out for people to private message me about this procedure and I got a lot of support back (Thank you ♡), all of their experiences didn’t include this procedure.  One friend sent a link here which was valuable and the closest I got to knowing about it. But isn’t it comforting sharing other peoples journeys knowing you are not the only one.

I hope my experience, although individual, can perhaps help someone who feels scared and unsure about it by bringing reassurance that it is as good as it can be in the circumstances. Please remember this is my 6th pregnancy and perhaps my grounded nature is through the expectation off loss but that doesn’t change the point of this post. It was my first experience with MVA and I would have it again over any other option. It was right for me.

If you feel worried about this and want to contact me about it email me at info@budbaby.co.uk