Breastfeeding

Before I was pregnant I didn’t like the idea of breastfeeding. In fact it had been a big issue for me. I was very anxious about it. I’ve never had anything against Mother Nature and applauded it but I found that it made me feel uncomfortable and was not for me.

Fast forward with a 18 week old daughter and I am a very dedicated breastfeeding Mother.

I have been avoiding being involved with all the latest social media, news, programmes etc that is really tackling the subject because I have actually become so empowered by it I am like an advocate for it. I didn’t want to find myself in a position of getting worked up over something I am passionate about and taking the concentration from my daughter.

However I just have this burning desire to share how I feel. It is at the end of breastfeeding week but it just feels right to write about it now.

I am a breastfeeding female who takes pride and wants to remain dignified in my body. I therefore like to remain private and ideally out off view when I am feeding. The early days were quite stressful but these days it has become a lot more easier for me to quickly manoeuvre the latch making being in public much easier.

It is positive to have signs “You are welcome to breastfeed here” but I’d rather not breastfeed in public or at least have more options to breastfeed in a quieter area.

I started meeting with a lady Doula from a local new NHS scheme Snowdrop Doula Burnley who I presented this to and she started to find out the places in my local town that could offer private areas within the areas you are welcome in.

Most businesses where accommodating but in reality there are not many private areas within the “welcome areas” although this is improving. I was shocked to hear that some businesses in particular a local Accrington hairdressers did not want any breastfeeding in her shop.

I have noticed that a majority of females are uncomfortable in feeding in public for reasons such as body image, cultural beliefs, privacy etc. Some spend time expressing but for me expressing was too time consuming.

Matalan in Lancaster offers a separate area which is really comfortable and spacious. (Top image).

B&Q (Blackburn) bedroom show area, although not a designated private area was quite fun to put my feet up and feed (See image below).

I’ve found that although nice to have a designated area in Lancaster, the baby facilities are quite smelly and isolated in one of the shopping centres and could do with improvement but at least they are there although feeding in there felt quite threatening. (See image below).

It has been interesting seeking out private areas. Not a lot exists. I was surprised Boots didn’t have one on offer.

When my daughter was born it was like a light switch changed. My motherly instincts just took over.  I held her and and my body responded. An amazing and natural way of being.

I decided I would at least try to give my daughter colostrum. Luckily I had an excellent midwife Samantha at Burnley Birth Centre who showed me how to latch her on. It felt more like a rough rugby tackle to do it correctly but it worked. The positioning was not what I had seen in magazines and so I had to master it. I think the “ideal position” cradling baby may be the mistake people make in breast feeding who are not being successful, however I am no expert but seek support and help when you can.

This is were feeding in public became an issue. None of the discreet ways worked and so I was faced with a few melt down occasions when my daughter wanted food.

I feed on demand. No one told me, I just knew that my daughter and my body would just know what to do and it has just happened and developed naturally. What I did know was that I did not want my baby to cry unnecessarily.

She is 18 weeks and I still have not heard her once cry in the night. It is rare she cries because I feed her when she chooses and this is right for us. We are both happy and content.

It has been a commitment to get to this, especially in the first few weeks. But luckily because of the right support and help, I feel fortunate to not have suffered in ways others have done.

It is a committed lifestyle choice in a way because I have had to sacrifice a lot of things I enjoyed because breast feeding hasn’t always worked with my social activities. However I don’t see it as a sacrifice but it is the only way I can describe it. My daughters needs come first.

I actually find it really easy and I don’t judge others for their choices, especially because of my feelings before I became a Mum. There are times I have wondered if I should stop but it just can’t happen for me because it feels so right and natural.

But as I have said I still don’t want to show my breasts and why should others be subjected to that just because I am breast feeding.

I have found recently to be treated really well and congratulated for feeding. In fact I think some people are looking to assist with it. I’ve actually thought I was being discreet even with my back to one lady working in a cafe metres away. But she came with a glass of much needed water and thanked me for feeding my child!!! It’s wonderful really this positive attitude. One lady though in a cafe made a big issue about me not having to cover up and I had to politely ask her not to make an issue as I didn’t want to be open about it. Her intentions were of course in the right place.

However I have never yet seen or heard anything negative. There are people who are negative because they do not understand it or have experienced it. Everyone’s mindset is different and we need to help support and educate those that are negative about it. But I do feel on the whole I am very discreet and respectful to myself, my daughter and to others around me. I feel for me that this is how it should be. Perhaps my own confidence and approach contributes to this?

I admire all these images of breastfeeding Mothers and I think there are some very beautiful ones capturing special moments but I also feel that those moments are personal and precious and perhaps should be nurtured and that we should be keeping our babies close and not exposing them to the world that unfortunately has people whose intentions are not from a nice place. When I feed I am protecting both our spaces from this.

However I can also see it is helping those that may be frightened of breastfeeding come forward to get the support they need by sharing imagery on social media platforms.

My journey has been and continues to be amazing. The bond is extraordinary and to provide for my daughter at no financial cost or worry about ingredients is a huge bonus! No sterilising, no long night feeds because we have our own system in place that means I can rest while she feeds, I have mastered eating and drinking so I always have a hand spare. There are so many positives!

Today at my dentist appointment which inspired me to write, my dentist informed me of new guidelines that came in to regulation in July. I now receive white fillings that would of cost lots of money because I am breastfeeding and so I can’t have fillings removed or replaced with mercury in them. Bonus for breastfeeding.

The breastfeeding world is on the up and I feel very passionate for it but I would never want any person to feel bad or that they are doing wrong for not breastfeeding. We all do what is right. For some breast milk is not enough and the only way to help feed their child is not to breastfeed. No one deserves judgement. Supporting, educating and creating awareness is what needs to be achieved. It may not suit all people and we each have to respect each others choices.

All I know is this is my story and I just wanted to share for those that may need to receive more support and  breastfeed. Always ask and help and support should be offered anyway.

If you would like to find support in your own area here is a link press here.

Pictures – Top Matalan, bottom left Ambleside and bottom right B & Q.

Lancaster Baby Change Area