Miscarriage
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Trisomy 14
It’s been sometime since I have updated my blog. I had every intention but life just took a backward step and I just needed time to process my losses from the start but in particular the last two as I had answers after they were tested. Although I felt fortunate to be in a position to have answers, the answers didn’t make any sense to me. I started to give up hope of ever having another child again with my run of bad luck. My last two pregnancies were both Chromosome issues and the process of conception to loss and removal just took so much time and so much out…
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Not OK
It’s been a tough week. I’ve found myself in some strange places hiding while I sort myself out. I’m currently sat in Tesco carpark having a mini picnic, drinking a non-alcoholic larger wondering if I can even legally drive! Now I’m not pregnant I can drink again (except I stopped drinking the non-alcoholic larger when I fell pregnant-odd I know I am!) I feel incredibly guilty sat here drinking thinking what must people think of me, something I need to stop doing. I had a breakdown today at a hospital appointment. Nothing to do with the actual appointment. I had no idea why I was so emotional and I would…
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#2 Medical Management Inpatient
This video follows on from Video #1 I went into hospital for a medically managed miscarriage that didn’t go to plan and resulted in a D&C theatre under general Anesthetic. Those that follow my journey know the history but for those of you that don’t this is my 2nd managed miscarriage during the lockdown period which means it is controlled through the hospital and not natural/Spontaneous at home, the last one being in December which was an MVA see here. See About for a timeline of my experiences as this is my 8th loss in my lifetime so far.
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#1 Medical Management – Inpatient
I’ve been very quiet. Life gave me a surprise, one that wasn’t planned so to speak. It came after a loss in December that was sadly due to Edwards’ Syndrome. That was a shock and I suppose that started the internal deep cleansing and healing that I’ve been needing for sometime. Today I came into hospital with my surprise after its beautiful beating heart stopped ♡ I thought by 2pm I would be home but here I am and this little soul although not “alive” seems to be happily floating around in my womb. I fear loss it’s a theme in my life and today I have been cleansing and…
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109 Days
It’s been 109 days since my last period and 84 days since I missed my period and got numerous positive pregnancy tests. It’s been 50 days since I had the MVA procedure (miscarriage – removal of pregnancy tissue) and I thought I should update the weeks after this procedure because it is an unknown for so many. See previous post here. If you are interested in charting and how the above dates have been recorded see here. Even though this is the 2nd managed miscarriage through the EPU (Early pregnancy unit – meaning I have been treated at the hospital – a general (D&C) and a local anaesthetic (MVA) to…
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Pregnancy Diaries #5 – Removal of miscarriage by MVA
The video and blog can be slightly different in content. This post contains content of a sensitive nature. This video covers pre and post procedure. The blog below covers my experiences of the actual procedure It’s 18.41 and after a long day at Burnley EPU I have got through the MVA procedure to remove the pregnancy that had ended. See previous posts #1-4 for background. Today I was 10 weeks 2 days pregnant, day 65 gestation from my first day of my last menstrual period. I arrived at 9.30am and by 10.30am I’d seen and spoken to the consultant who would be carrying out the procedure, had blood pressure checks…
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Pregnancy Diaries #4 – Miscarriage
The video and blog can be slightly different in content. The 3rd scan and my partner was able to support me by being there so I was mentally nearly prepared for a miscarriage diagnosis but I had hoped for a heartbeat. We arrived and waited in a “quiet room” which is an improvement from my first EPU (Early Pregnancy Unit) miscarriage in 2016. They had said they would not leave me waiting unnecessarily but it was still a 20min wait but better than the previous 2 weeks off 45-60mins which of course is agonising when you are so anxious. I was taken in by a familiar face, in fact she…
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Pregnancy Diaries #3 – Fetal pole but no heartbeat
The video and blog can be slightly different in content. I went for the 2nd scan after waiting for 10 days. The wait to go in was bad enough and then the examination and that familiar silence. My impatience taking over, asking if there is a heart beat. Hearing the sounds the sonographers make, then something is printing but still no answer. It’s awful waiting. The pregnancy has ended there is no heartbeat. I was in tears in disbelief but also not surprised. Why wouldn’t it be. But why now. Weeks in. I remember the natural miscarriage at 7 weeks was worst than the first one at 10/11 because at…