Pregnant
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40 Weeks Pregnant
Following on from the last post see here. But then… I was pregnant!!! I am led here in bed thinking I should have updated this sooner but I resisted it all because I was so scared of loss and still am. But any day up until the next 2 weeks I pray my baby will be safely in my arms. Today I had my Reflexlogy which has been my support throughout my losses and pregnancies and I just felt reconnected to this idea that I had in 2018 and I just want to develop it more. So here I am with so much to say about this pregnancy. What I’ve…
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Pregnancy Diaries #3 – Fetal pole but no heartbeat
The video and blog can be slightly different in content. I went for the 2nd scan after waiting for 10 days. The wait to go in was bad enough and then the examination and that familiar silence. My impatience taking over, asking if there is a heart beat. Hearing the sounds the sonographers make, then something is printing but still no answer. It’s awful waiting. The pregnancy has ended there is no heartbeat. I was in tears in disbelief but also not surprised. Why wouldn’t it be. But why now. Weeks in. I remember the natural miscarriage at 7 weeks was worst than the first one at 10/11 because at…
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Pregnancy Diaries #2 – No fetal pole
The video and blog can be slightly different in content. It’s the night before my 2nd scan and I’m feeling incredibly nervous. My heart has been physically racing most of the night something I haven’t experienced for some time. My legs have felt shaky and weak and I have had gut pain. I feel short tempered and utterly confused with my life. I went for my ultrasound at 6 weeks 2 days (6+2) as they requested for me to do. A full bladder after having a natural birth has done me no favours. Waiting with a delay, then trying to walk into the room when they called me in was…
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Pregnancy Diaries #1 – Positive test
The video and blog can be slightly different in content. I have a positive test. This is the 3rd confirmed pregnancy this year and my 6th pregnancy with my partner – we have one beautiful daughter. Fingers crossed there will a sister or brother for her. We were fortunate enough to have some isolation time and oddly that month my cycle came earlier, normally I am a 28 day cycle, so my period falls on day 28 which then becomes day 1 of a new cycle. I very rarely have ever had a shorter cycle but to my advantage I did which meant that my ovulation fell in the time…
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5th Positive Pregnancy
For my video diaries see here This is my cycle based on 28 days. We are all different and have different cycles so your dates will be different to mine. I don’t try and hide that I’m pregnant in the early days because the family need to know, not because it’s exciting, but because of my emotions and mood if the pregnancy does not continue. I say “don’t get excited it’s a faint line”, meaning it could be no line within a short period of time. This is my 5th pregnancy with my partner but only one daughter. We are always hopeful. I am pregnant though yippee, at 40 still…
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Chemical Pregnancy
I remember my losses. It is never easy losing a positive pregnancy however early I have been but I still feel nature had taken its course and with time life resumes. I still can never comprehend later losses and in some ways I have been blessed to have experienced mine for a short amount of time to try and understand and process it. I have to say now with my daughter the chemical pregnancies although not nice for me, it’s my body just doing what nature does and I believe in letting things be. So I hope that I am blessed again but I feel so honoured to have my…
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40 Weeks EDD
Today is the big day 26th March 2018 my estimated due date (EDD). I am 40 weeks! Except there is no baby but I always new that the estimated due date for me was not going to be relative because I am no text book and I do not fit into that range. They also predict the date based on the first day of the last period, so in theory, if you do follow the NHS textbook you can not even conceive for the first two weeks. I conceived on and around day 9. See post here. Anyway I was in the very early stages, my examination and notes confirm…
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Rhesus Negative
I’ll never forget the day when the midwife/nurse said to me before my D&C (Dilation and curettage) surgery from the missed miscarriage, “Did you know you are Rhesus Negative?” What the heck is that. This was the beginning of my Rhesus Negative journey that became an obsession or perhaps a focus through my grief of losing my much wanted pregnancy without any warning. It is still an obsession! No I didn’t know that. What does that mean then? Why is this relevant now? Why are you telling me this now? It turned out that I have a blood type that will cause issues in future pregnancies unless I have an…
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First Post – The Beginning
This is the background to my journey and experiences. I have touched on these in other posts but felt it would be good to have this as it is the background and foundations for BudBaby. Here is my story. It’s a long one! November 2015 we decided that we would start trying for a baby. I had knowledge of my cycle for not getting pregnant, as I prefer natural birth prevention methods by tracking my ovulation/cycle chart. I was not successful in November but that was a bit of a hit and miss situation anyway with dates. December was Christmas so in my mind I would avoid that time thinking…