OCD

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

When my baby was born it was like a light switch of emotions that filled me from head to toe with pure love – something I have never felt before. I had the most amazing birth which I will share in due time.  However from the moment my baby was born something else also surfaced – fear and worry.

Within the first few days I felt completely overwhelmed, exhausted, my anxiety levels on people being around me and my baby was horrendous. The thoughts of her being harmed by things like hot drinks and all sorts of scenarios that my mind presented me with, that I could visually see and almost feel happening on a physical level, just left me in a state of distress. I broke down to my midwife who quickly signposted me to the local MindsMatter health team.  I was suffering with Postnatal OCD. SEE HERE

It actually surfaced towards the end of my pregnancy (Perinatal OCD) but it came on very strong within a few hours after birth and has continued (Postnatal OCD). I suffer mainly with intrusive thoughts which I will go into more detail in another post as it is complex and individual.

I now know through having C.B.T therapy SEE HERE that I’ve actually been living with it most of my life. There are many different aspects to OCD  but I can only share my own personal experiences.

My aim is to share my experiences in the hope that it will support others and give encouragement to those who feel scared and alone in opening up and seeking help. I was really fortunate that I had an amazing midwife who did not hesitate to sign post me for help.

Mental Health has a huge spectrum, I honestly thought I would go into a postnatal depression but I never did. I wasn’t prepared for OCD or anything related to Motherhood after spending so much time focusing on the birth (which was amazing) and all that surrounds it. There is a lot of support for the actual birth but not a lot of post birth support to prepare you for being a new Mum, but we have survived so far and what an amazing journey it has been.

The Positive Birth Company now have an online postpartum course which would be useful in looking at prior to any birth to help prepare you for after the birth, The Postpartum Pack.

I don’t actually suffer with intrusive thoughts the way I did. On occasions they surface but I can now manage them. I am in my 2nd course of CBT Therapy which has helped me enormously. I also feel that hormones have a huge impact, the lack of sleep, worry, raised anxiety and stress levels all contribute to it.

I am going to writing more posts in the future about my experiences surrounding OCD and intrusive thoughts.

There are other earlier posts you can read here.