New Mum

I have had so much to write but Motherhood has taken over. I have been so overwhelmed but in a very positive way. We have done so much together the weeks have passed so quickly.

I conquered my fears of breastfeeding to actually becoming more of an advocate for it. I’ve mastered how to still have some chill time for me, receiving reflexology while my daughter lies with me. I have found my feet with my new little feet that rely on me.

I will be writing my full positive birth story in another post here. This is a summary of where I am up to so I can continue to update and document my journey.

Our daughter was born in the water, and she was a good weight, weighing over 8lb. We used Hypnobirthing techniques along with gas and air.

It was the most amazing experience I have had, and as I left the hospital I apparently wanted another baby! I feel it was more after one week!

Although the whole birth was amazing, I did suffer, and still am to a degree, with some very emotional days and weeks post-birth that were, and still are, quite overwhelming. A lot of fears were around me regarding my new precious love. The love I feel for her is something I can’t describe. It actually pains me; it is that strong. I am sure all parents feel this.

The fears of “what if” have been with me just before she was born, and I am currently in treatment for this, which I will post about here and here.

I have been very intense with this overprotective nature of mine. Visitors were too much for me. I found the cups lined up on the kitchen surface, about to be filled with hot water, so traumatic. Family had to sit in separate rooms to drink anything hot, away from us.

Because of this, I decided I had to face my fears; otherwise, I might have restricted myself. So here is a little timeline of our activities.

Week 1 – By the end of this week, I had managed to drive alone. This was one of my fears. I thought it would be better to just get in the car rather than avoid it.

The birth was registered two days after she was born. I broke down in Tesco after this. I should not have pushed myself.

Week 2 – My first outing was to a Baby Sensory group. When I reflect on this, it really warms me, thinking about how small she was and watching her sleep. She slept most weeks, but they say 60% is taken in. I believe this to be true.

The signature song is “Say Hello”. It makes me smile hearing it and thinking about the early days. I have some footage of her saying “hello” two days before she was eight weeks old!

Week 3/5 – We had ventured out on our own into town. Parking was stressful, not having enough room to get her in and out. I mastered it on the third visit. I look for an end parking spot with plenty of room to get her in and out, but which is safe.

We had our first breastfeeding-in-public meltdown. We were shopping in a charity shop and ended up in the changing room. We ended up in a few places feeling hot and bothered. Breastfeeding has been challenging in that I want to breastfeed in public but in a private space. Post here.

I have mastered it, but at times I still get a bit anxious about it, which makes feeding more difficult!

We also joined the library and registered with the dentist.

My fears were so intense I organised a First Aid course for family members which we also did and really enjoyed.

We had our first family swim.

Weeks 5/10 – We had joined baby massage class which she didn’t take much part in only to sleep and eat but it was wonderful! We had joined a sling library and so we became hands free!

Weeks 10/12 – We joined a sign language class which we love. She has just had her first proper swimming lesson today and was submerged in the water. No tears from her!

Weeks 12-15 – We are in more of a routine. Daily tasks have become easier. She continues to enjoy swimming and at her 3rd class she was splashing around moving her arm and legs. It is amazing watching progression and how activities suddenly make sense to her. You can see the determination in her face and joy in succeeding and experiencing a new task.

Motherhood is me and I am Motherhood.

There is lots more to say but as time has passed there has been a build up of posts and so I must move on and record these experiences.